some of the responses to Tomaž’s invitation, published with the authors’
Though this is not a fart ... it’s a queef!
Tomaž, I am
sending you some stuff. Technically speaking, the recordings are not all that
great, but I’m sure you can “clean them up” a bit ... Also, they are very short
and high-pitched. I didn’t manage to catch a really long and low-toned,
vibrating one ...
I have to say that recording farts has been quite an interesting experience,
like peeing in a cup at the lab or having your stool sample taken for the colon
cancer test ... Maybe a fart is even more personal than urine or poop because
you can hear its sound, which is certainly personal, it’s “my” voice, well, the
voice of my organ (sort of my second mouth) and as such perhaps even
“recognisable” (practically no one knows my piss or shit ...); it’s kind of
like farting in public – both the sound and the smell are “disturbing” because
they touch upon the subconscious, the suppressed, a prejudice, a taboo, a
feeling of shame, etc. I admit, at first I was uncomfortable getting my phone
near the source of the fart, as if I was afraid to record its smell, too ... or
that the odour would permeate my phone. And listening to the recordings, you
can’t help but feel a connection with the smell, and the more scent-sensitive
among us can also detect the fart’s phantom odour, even if it’s just a
recording ... I’m not sure if I want to be signed as the “author” of the audio
materials, that may be too intimate for me (just like I wouldn’t want my
singing to be played in public because the recording of my normal voice bothers
me); hiding in the crowd, that would work (though there is still a risk of
someone recognising you) ... You never know if a fart is your internal,
spontaneous, automatic, physiological sound or if it can be controlled.
Everyone knows a theatrical farter who announces the fart and then gives a big
push, immensely enjoying the reactions that follow ... Maybe we are more afraid
and ashamed of the automatic, internal, subconscious nature of the fart than
it’s manageable side: it can be interpreted, argued, concealed, while the
subconscious side is supposed to be about something more real, more obvious ...
I’ve farted in public before, but I reinterpreted or masked the sound. I know
families where farting was forbidden and the children and the dad would only
fart – enjoying it all the more because they were breaking a rule – when mum
was not home – It’s funny, right, what can be attributed to an essentially
banal flow of air from our intestines ... Yes, the (sometimes extremely
awkward) sound of our stomach (rumbling), at the theatre or cinema, for
instance, can be similarly unpleasant, only it’s not accompanied by any smell,
which makes it more innocent (unless we burp); sometimes the biggest drama
happens when we try to supress a fart – and the intestines produce a sound
coming from within – just like farting, but useless in terms of sound ... Such
vulgar expressions: farting, rumbling, burping – I don’t know if it’s the
onomatopoeia or the act that they represent ...
You see how much I had to write and comment so I wouldn’t just send you the
recordings – you can assume that farting is an intellectual act par excellence
(you could go even further and make a typology, for example: a country fart, a
lady fart, an intellectual fart; if I’m not mistaken, I had such a list once
...). Regards, Blaž
just look how long
it took me to respond
but unfortunately i can’t accept.
i don’t know. not just because i find it bizarre
but i don’t know
even though a fart ceases to be private
as soon as it says goodbye to its host
i still feel like it’s a really intimate thing
and i am quite sensitive in that sense
and conserva-tive. but you get it.
i am certain however that you will gain much
from collaborating with my boyfriend primož čučnik
who is a farting champion. he has a very philosophical
view on the matter and sometimes the vulgarity of this practice
makes his loved ones suffer a lot
but we end up rolling on the floor
laughing with him.
one time we even came up with the idea that
instead of a rent-a-car or a rent-a-kayak
there could be a
i’ve taken my sweet time, haven’t i.
have a nice day
and lots of fun and luck with this project <3
you know, I’ve been dealing with shit myself these last three weeks. composting
shit ... but that was someone else’s project and it didn’t go very well. but
the theme continues ...
so yes, of course. but mine are silent and deadly. Cage-like.
i’ll do my best. otherwise Rob will have to install some contact microphones. 🙂
first of all, thank you for the invitation.
It has been a privilege and a pleasure to participate. There is nothing like a
But I do have to say this. After having a serious conversation with my
collaborators/co-authors, Mr Intestine and Ms Rectum, I managed to reach a
compromise and get their approval for the project despite their concerns and
prejudice. They did, however, demand in unison that three zeros be added to the
20-euro fee proposed in the contract. I hope that will not put too great a
strain on production, as all three of us know your reach and wholeheartedly
believe both in the artistic capital of the project and its commercial
potential and success.
Otherwise we forego the contract and the fee, and wish good luck to the project
when it appears before the currently very scant concert audience.
I look forward to hearing about the first composition developments. If there is
any interest and if it’s appropriate, we may be prepared to fart something out
with the artists of the EN-KNAP dance group. Perhaps as early as in November,
in an episode called: The Excess Fart.
I hope the three of us have squeezed out enough; if you think we should have
another go at it, please let us know.
thank you for the invitation.
Unfortunately I am unable to respond (this time) because, even though I respect
your work as a musician and I support, believe in and look forward to the
composition, I am not prepared to share something so intimate.
I realise that, after editing the numerous farters, “my anonymity” will
(probably) be secured ... but the sheer fact that you are listening to it and
know whose materials these are represents an intimate creative and human
relationship for which, unfortunately, I am not ready.
Please don’t take it personally but – like it or not – such a recording is very
intimate to me and I am not prepared to forge this bond.
Good luck with the project, I am certain that the composition will lose nothing
by me not being in it.
Be well and thank you again for the invitation.
I’ll do it.
I will follow the dynamics of peristalsis and the oncoming waves that foretell
I will get back to you or stink you the recording.
thank you for the invitation. it’s very clever and fun.
i sent you three farts, I hope it’s ok.
about the authorship, i’m not sure it’s necessary as i don’t consider myself
the artist here. i am more interested in what comes out of this in the end!
and i don’t know what to say about the payment, this is like a field recording
to me. however, if i ever reach old age, it would be fun to be able to tell
people i served, translated, wrote, sang, danced, produced events and farted
for money :)))
It’s nice of you to think of me and thank you for the invite. What a crazy and
exciting idea. I thought about your invitation and, in the end, decided not to
participate. This proposal is too big of an intrusion on my privacy that I’m
not prepared to share with an audience. However, I will be happy to listen to
the farts when the composition is finished.
Be well, I hope the project is a success.
This will be
good material for my autobiography – that times were so difficult during the
coronavirus crisis that I even had to sell my farts to survive :)
i can’t wait to hear the piece
sorry for the long wait ...
I had similar problems as Grega, expecting too much from myself and my digestive
tract, waiting for some fantastic original sound ...
waiting for too long ...
Here’s my production, three of them so far. if you want I can keep emailing
them to you.
Thank you for this interesting experience 🙂
going to send you this because it could go on forever if I kept trying to catch
more successful attempts.
Or I had technical/phone problems or fart fright ... it’s really fucked up,
whenever I do something and then do it again for the camera, I do it so much
worse, I guess farting is no exception.
Here is a
package of six farts. They’re very diverse: from low-pitched long ones to
high-pitched short ones.
Is the quality of the recordings ok?
Awesome, Tomaž, if I feel the need, I promise to
record it. Is it better to do it naked or dressed?
Ha, ha, Tomaž!
Fortunately for me, I don’t have the proper phone to take part in this.
I have an old, jam-packed samsung that can’t even sneeze, let alone fart.🙂
But I think it’s a genius idea and I’m sure the piece will be glorious!
Like all of your stuff, Tomaž.
I only got out of this by the grace of god.
And thank you for your invitation and your trust.🙂
I wish you a great many farts.🙂
Oh, this is nice.
I might even regret it.🙂
I am sending you the first part of my “oeuvre”, with three more to follow. I
sound more or less like Arturo Sandoval, maybe because of my chronic IBD. I
hope you can use this.
This undertaking has actually started a debate in lawyer circles on whether a
fart can be a copyrighted work or not. Opinions are divided.
Talk to you soon,
Le Singe Executif
are you going to mix ska music and scatology?
I hear Mozart himself was a big fan of scatological humour and also used it in
his musical compositions. I don’t think you’ll put ska in scatology, but I do
feel like caco-phony is a very appropriate genre at this time. I will do my
best for Art and send you something.